Indiecore Memphis: Julien Baker talks solo success, Forrister, Jesus, and MC Hammer

Sprained Ankle is the 9-track release that has Memphis songwriter Julien Baker gaining serious musical momentum on a national level. The Middle Tennessee State University English student not only graced the front page of The Memphis Flyer in Oct. but landed a feature in The New York Times for her collection of soft songs. Fresh from being whisked away to California to open up for a popular band she has listened to since middle school, Baker agreed to a Q & A interview with us at Indiecore Memphis. After all, the Forrister-Frontwoman knows how to handle the press by now.

IM: How does it feel to be featured in The New York Times and the cover of The Memphis Flyer?

JB: It’s surreal. It’s a lot to handle. It’s way more than I would have ever expected response-wise. I’m just trying to keep a cool head about it you know?

IM: The Oct. 29 Sprained Ankle release show at Amurica (410 North Cleveland) was fantastic by the way. What did the room look like from your perspective?

JB: It didn’t feel like a show so much as just like a party or a celebration of this thing that I couldn’t have made without every single person in that room. I had a memory about every single person whose face I was looking at in the front row like ‘Man, you and I used to get Taco Bell really late at night and talk about life.’ Every single person in that room was instrumental to me being the person that I am today. Without those people I wouldn’t be one iota of anything and like, here I am with all of them as my support and with my bandmates and friends and fellow musicians. It just feels so good to be supported by such a cohesive Memphis family.

I got choked up. I had to look down because lookin’ at everybody’s face was just like being at a big family reunion. I was about to cry.

IM: You mentioned that everyone in there had “expressed gratitude” toward you in some way. Anyone you’d like to give a shoutout in particular?

JB: Well my bandmates in Forrister. I wouldn’t have had any of these chances if it weren’t for them. I started playin’ music with Matthew Gilliam and Creech and Austin a long time ago and they’ve also been so gracious. I was afraid that it would be weird.

They all have been so supportive. And Brian Vernon who runs Smith 7. The whole Smith 7 community has seen me through a lot of really tough things just by being there and being a strong, musical community. It’s a safe place to come and express yourself where they give opportunities to bands no matter what. You always get a chance. People there really wanna support you. There will be three people in a room screaming words along and that’s how it was for so long. Before New York Times gave a crap about my record, all of the people at the 7 house cared about The Star Killers and that’s what’s important. So I just want to thank Brian for making that community.

IM: One of my favorite moments at your show was when (opening act) Ryan Azada said “We’re all just happy we knew about you first.” What was your response to that?

JB: Oh yeah, he’s a joker. That’s why The Memphis Flyer almost meant more to me. I mean it’s insane- NPR and New York Times and stuff like that, but what meant so much are the people who didn’t find out about Sprained Ankle because it was on “new releases” on Spotify.

There are people there that have seen me play to two people in living rooms with no one in it, or a coffee shop with no one there. There were people like Jenna Dolan, who has come to Star Killers shows where literally she was the only person in the crowd. They cared because they cared about me as a friend because they cared about us as a friend group, so it feels really good that nothing has changed. When Ryan Azada went on tour it was me and him sleepin’ on floors and I was eating gas station food and I know that it’s the same. Nothing has changed and it’s so comfortable to have that to return to, ultimately.

IM: At the release show you also mentioned some show promoters who helped you back when you “weren’t very good at your instrument.” Any war stories?

JB: Oh my gosh. Yeah I mean Jaron Weidner, he booked for the Abbey, and he works at Avenue coffee (which is the best coffee in Memphis don’t let anybody tell you different. I’m a coffee snob.) He booked me. Ryan Azada too. He’s the one that booked us with Run Forever four times in a row and gave us a chance. Jaron gave us a chance. Ryan gave us a chance. They kept booking us when I had a stupid mohawk and we played these weird alt-country songs and I would just do these obnoxious solos and it wasn’t tight necessarily, but it was a bunch of teenagers playin’ music together.

We were passionate about it. Brian booked us at the 7 house all the time. Without those people giving us a space to grow and play and participate in music, we would have never gotten anywhere. I’m just so glad that they listened and gave us a shot.

IM: Fast-Forwarding to now, last weekend Touché Amoré specifically asked to fly you out to California to open for them. What was that experience like?

JB: Suuuurreal. It was crazy. It was crazy for a lot of reasons, one of them being that Clayton, their guitarist, picked me up at the airport and I spent the night at Jeremy Bolm’s house. It was so difficult not just being like “wow.” When Forrister played some shows with The ‘68, and got to know Josh Scogin, it was the same thing. People like Josh Scogin from The Chariot and Jeremy Bolm and Touché Amoré - you see them as people and just have conversations with them thinking, ‘I used to stay up until like 2 in the morning listening to your records on repeat when I was in middle school and early high school.’ That is what got me through life is those records. That was all I had.

Jeremy Bolm- I went to his house and we just hung out there and passed out candy on Halloween and I was like ‘Is this really friggin’ happening?’ Then we talked about music and being a performer and planning for the future and creating and stuff about art and we got donuts. I was just like ‘This is surreal to be able to have this interaction with someone that I look up to so much.’

Then the show. It was at Chain Reaction and it was like almost 400 kids because it was like almost sold out and it’s a 400 cap venue. I remember it was so quiet during my set and I was so scared I was bumming everyone out. Then I was standing at the merch table and these like buff, orange county hardcore dudes in snapbacks came up to me and they were like ‘Hey, tight set.’ I was like ‘Oh I thought I alienated everyone and it was horrible,’ and they were like ‘No, honesty transcends genres.’ That right there is like the reason why I make music. That’s so beautiful.

Then of course Touché played and they played this really long set. They played a whole bunch of old songs and I crowd surfed up to the front and was screaming the words. I’ve done that at two previous Touché shows when Jeremy Bolm had no idea who I was, so like it just felt natural and good to be in that environment and share that moment with all those people in the crowd who were strangers but also not strangers. I don’t know, that sounds cheesy but it was a dream come true. The show ended, I got a plane at midnight and flew home. I landed at 6am and drove to class so I was really tired.

https://thestarkillerstn.bandcamp.com/album/american-blues

IM: I’ve always loved Forrister/The Star Killers. How supportive has your band been about your recent solo success?

JB: I imagined it tearing this huge rift in our friendship and for a while during the summer when the press started to pick up I was unable to enjoy being on NPR because in the back of my mind I was like ‘I worked so hard and wanted this to be for Forrister. Why is it only me?’ So I was carrying around this guilt.

Austin lived up here in Murfreesboro for a little while and we lived together. We had a couple of really candid conversations.

I underestimated their grace, and I underestimated their love as people. I think of those dudes as my brothers and family because when I was going through inner mental and emotional turmoil on tour and I wouldn’t talk to them and I wouldn’t think they would understand, they surprised me every time.

I had this moment where interviews were coming- people caring about Sprained Ankle. I called Matt and I was crying and I was like ‘this isn’t what I thought it would be like’ and he was just like ‘Julien. We can never hate you. We only want the best for you.’ I was just so humbled. Say I get sold up to a bigger label and they want to do another Julien Baker record and they want it to be full band, well there’s my full band. I don’t have it in me to be like ‘bye, forget you guys.’ Y’know? Also I’m extremely aware of the fact that it could all disappear tomorrow and it could be like MC Hammer and I could have to get a job at Burger King because I flopped.

So what’s important to me is that I know that those guys- they have been there on the days when we were microwaving ramen in gas station microwaves and they’ll be there if we’re eating lobster every night and it doesn’t matter. They’re the best people I know.

IM: Friends of mine have always picked up on the religious themes in your lyrics. At the Sprained Ankle release show you mentioned briefly how sometimes you get angry at God, but that then you remember he doesn’t get angry at us. How important and therapeutic is it for you to explore that theme in your songwriting?

JB: I don’t want to say religion is important in my life but God is huge. Is everything. I write a lot about God and I think I want to be honest enough to confront doubt. Sometimes a common mistake - people will do interviews with me and say like ‘so you have some issues with your faith or you're struggling’ and it’s not necessarily that I’m struggling.

When I was younger I doubted the existence of God in an angry way but I have a relationship with God that is secure. I think that questioning those things or working through them or openly saying I’m confused. I’m hurt. I’m scared. I don’t understand - I think that's more honest and does more to improve your relationship with God or your spirituality or whatever you wanna say. I do that a lot through songwriting. That’s what “Rejoice” is about. It’s like, I get angry at God and say I don’t understand, ‘Why is this happening?’ but that doesn't mean he’s not there and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love us. Ultimately that’s all that I think it is like. He’s still there. Still loving you. Still holding you together through whatever your enduring, whether you see it or not. Whether it’s apparent or not.

I tend to get up on a soapbox about God really quick, but it’s just because it’s important that people don’t think I’m just either A.) saying’ like ‘oh there’s no God’ or ‘God is mean’ or ‘God is evil’ or, worse that I’m just like some bible thumper who's like ‘well you're goin to hell.’

That’s the reason why I write these songs is so people know that that’s not true. That’s not who God is.

Speaking about religion and fate and God is a taboo and I wish it weren’t. I have a special place in my heart for Hill Song and David Crowder but that’s not the kind of music I write. I think it helps to have those candid conversations to start open dialogues with people who otherwise would reject the idea of God or Christianity, because it’s not asserting fact, it’s opening a question.

Photo by Jake Cunningham

IM: What’s next for Julien Baker? How much longer do you have in school and do you plan to pursue music full-time once you graduate?

JB: Next semester I am registering for online courses and I’m going to still remain technically enrolled in school, but I’m pulling back on my workload because right now four upper division English classes plus flying to New York and LA on the weekends is not doable. And having a job. I can’t. So I’m going to be doing online courses and I will be touring full-time.

We’re working out a tour for January and I think another run for February and then if I’m not touring again for South By South West I will be doing direct support. Just getting all that figured out. So I’ll be on the road quite a bit.

That’s why i got a tattoo of something Ryan Azada used to say to me all the time. Just cause I know I’m going to be gone like 80% of next year and I wanted to remember Memphis and my friends and my home and so I was like I have to get something that I could never lose in an airport.

It’s scary but exciting at the same time.

It’s Matthew Gilliam, my drummer’s handwriting and it just says “Out into the ether” because that’s what Ryan Azada used to say. It’s like a joke between us, and I started saying it. It’s like you're just going out into the unknown. You have no idea where you're going. Having it on me in this way reminds me that I’ll have Ryan and Matt and Creech and those people as anchors no matter where I’ll go.